FROG HUNTIN’

FROG HUNTIN’
Damnation, Thibadoux,” DuPree growled as he pounded on the door of Thibadoux’s shanty on the far side of Mounsone Creek just South of Jackson’s curve. “It already be past six. Them frogs got better things to be a’ doin’ than to wait aroun’ for us to be a’ shooting their little asses. Whatchu been doin’ in there?”
Thibadoux stuck his head out. “I be a pourin’ several of them bottles together to make sure we got a full gallon o’ ol’ Rooster Boudreau’s shine to offer us comfort while we be a harvesting them frogs.” He held up a crockery jug. “She’s damn near full, podner.”
“Thibadoux, that’s gonna go right nicely. Mah ol’ lady sent along some biscuits. Hopin’ you got your .22 , cuz I cain’t find mine nowhere in dat damned house. I’m a’ hopin’ Buleah Jo ain’t pawned it down to Slick Willy’s bait shop again.”
Thibadoux waved an old single shot Remington. “She’s good to go and I got 20 catridges.”
“I found the bait bucket and the lantern.” Dupree grabbed the jug and took a long pull on the shine. “Da’um,” he coughed. “Da’um.”
By 2:00 A.M., the whiskey was gone and so were Thibadoux and DuPree. Puttering away in DuPree’s old Dodge pickup in the pitch black, both were as drunk as old man LeBleu’s mule when she got into the rotten apples behind the outhouse.
“Hell-far, DuPree, you goin’ twice as fast as hell. Be a lot quicker if you’d slow the hell down and stay on Route 41 over the bayou bridge.”
“Holy hoot in hell, man, don’t tell me how to drive mah own damned vehicle.”
Suddenly, the Dodge headlights went out.
XXX
HOOTERTOWN COURIER, June 4th:
Willie Marvin DuPree, Jr., 52, and Cletus Thibadoux, 40, both of Route 4, Plugtown, were injured early Saturday morning when DuPree’s 1974 Dodge pickup overturned on the westbound approach to the Bayou St. Marie bridge on Highway 41. Chief Deputy Willfred Shuckus of the Bojamine Parish Sheriff’s Office told the Gazette that official investigation indicated the two men had been frog hunting with a .22 rifle. While returning home at approximately 2:20 A.M., Dupree’s pickup headlights blew a fuse. He managed to stay on the road.
Having no spare fuse and seeing that a .22 cartridge fit exactly in the fuse slot on the steering column, they replaced the blown fuse with a .22 bullet. The cartridge restored the headlights and they continued their trip. Shortly, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and hit DuPree, Jr. in the testicles. DuPree, Jr. lost control and the truck rolled over, saved from plunging into Bayou St. Marie by the new bridge railing which was badly damaged.
Thibadoux suffered a broken left femur, cuts and abrasions, and remains hospitalized at Bojamine Parish Medical Center. DuPree, Jr. in addition to cuts and abrasions, remains hospitalized for treatment of the gunshot wound to the sensitive area.
Dr. Pierre Rochambeau of the Bojamine Parish Medical Center advised the Courier, “I got no way of knowin’ how well DuPree. Jr.’s testicles functioned before, but they never gonna ever work so good no more.”
Chief Deputy Shuckus stated, “I been a officer of the law for 26 years, but this is a first. I cannot imagine how them two got so dumb enough to admit to how this accident happened.”
Willie Marvin DuPree, Jr.’s wife, Flower Jo DuPree, 15, when reached by the Gazette, said, “Willie Marvin shot hisself in his whut? Far as I know, he didn’t have none. If he ever did have any, he never did use ‘um ‘roun’ here. Whut in tarnation would he need spectacles for no how? He could see jes’ fine. I’d be hopin’ to high h—l, that truck still runs when they get it up-sided. And, ahm a’ wishin’ them laws would look in the bait bucket behind the seat and see if them boys got any frogs.”